Guest Post: Ouch! Nobody Told Me This Might Hurt…

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Ouch! Nobody Told Me This Might Hurt…By Heather Baker, PT

One common condition I see women for postpartum is painfulintercourse. This can range from slight discomfort to severe pain causingcouples to abstain. As you might imagine (or know from personal experience)this can put a tremendous amount of stress on a marriage or relationship. Thefirst few months with baby are incredibly stressful. You’re responsible for anew human being, you’re not getting much sleep, and your partner may be feelingleft-out by having to share your attention. One of the simplest things that youhave to remind yourself of the relationship days pre-baby is intercourse. Whenthis doesn’t work, it can be incredibly frustrating.
I’ll share a few things with you today that I teach many ofmy new moms. Hopefully this will provide you with a little relief and will helpyou to ease back into things. If these tips don’t work, don’t be embarrassed totell your OB-GYN or midwife. Odds are they’ve heard the complaint before andwill refer you on for further treatment.
Let’s think back to the pelvic floor. During delivery thesemuscles and structures are stretched beyond belief. No wonder they’re sore!They need a good few weeks to heal so take your time-day 1 post-partum is NOTthe time to rekindle a relationship. Once you’re starting to feel vaguelynormal again and your OB-GYN or CNM has given you the go ahead (usually aroundyour 6 week check up), give it a try with the following suggestions:

• Use glycerin-free lubricant. New mom’s who are breastfeedingwill likely have low estrogen levels so things will feel especially dry andirritable. Lubricant helps decrease this discomfort as well as reduces thechance of further irritation.
• Foreplay is a good thing. New-moms often feel insecure abouttheir bodies’ post-partum. Take time to really get the mind and body ready forintercourse. Sometimes foreplay is even enough on day one. Chances are thatit’s been a few weeks/months since the last time you had intercourse so returnto you teenage years and just have fun especially if you’re feelingapprehensive.
• Try various positions. Deep penetration is often the mostpainful so try being on top to allow you to control the depth and speed.
• Start short and sweet. Trying to set a record on day one willlikely irritate your pelvic floor. See how you feel and gradually increase thetime over a few sessions.
• Communicate with your partner. The last thing a partner wantsis to hurt you. Let your partner know what you’re feeling, if you need to takea break, need to stop early, or change positions.
• Cold is helpful. If you’re sore afterwards or anticipate youwill be, take a cold pack and apply it to the outside of the vagina. I know itsounds awful, but it can work miracles for delayed discomfort.
• Breathing is your best friend. Many people hold their breathwhen they’re nervous or in pain, but this only exacerbates pain. Trydiaphragmatic breathing before and maybe even in the middle if you start totense up. Diaphragmatic breathing means belly breathing. To do it correctly,lay on your back and place one hand on your stomach and the other hand on yourchest. Take a slow, deep breath in. You should feel your belly hand rise andyour chest hand remain relatively still. Practice makes perfect so keep at it.You can do this in any position (great tip to help remain calm when sitting intraffic) but I like laying down for initial practice because it allows you toreally see and feel the breath.

Now the fun part, go do your homework! Have fun and try theabove tips. If they don’t work, come see me and/or post a question below. Happypracticing! 


You can find Heather Baker, PT at the Galter Life Center at Swedish Covenant Hospital located at Foster and California in Chicago, IL.  



Image Credit: http://www.stress-management-4-women.com/breathing-and-relaxation-techniques.html